so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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