the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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