I cut my penus on the lid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
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