I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
