You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
