So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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