I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
