She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
