I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
