How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize