the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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