break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
