You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
