i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
