by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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