I think my fart just growled at me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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