i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
