pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
