Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
