Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
