Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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