Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
