i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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