Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
