The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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