tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Come see our sink grown plant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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