someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Can Purell be used as lube?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
