i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
