Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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