the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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