From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
