you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
