Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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