She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Randomize
