We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
