we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
