That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
