I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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