your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
