Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
