she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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