Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
