Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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