New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize