We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
