He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
