is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
