I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
