"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You need Xanax blowdarts
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.