Dignity is for republicans.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved