Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...