New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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