no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
