using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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