we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
