NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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