i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
