There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
