video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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