I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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